This lie is coming in.

Booyah.

Mon, 17 May 2004 15:36:18 GMT

WOWWWW.

I decided I am not updating this anymore. I love my foam plates. SO, if you haven't yet, add me on plats_de_mousse and comment when and if you do.

The reason I am not deleting this is because I want my lovely comments to stay on your journals.. FOREVER.

PLUS, if I ever want to update it, I can.

I am also taking my layout from here and moving it to my foam plates because I have forgotten how much I loved that layout.

♥

PS - You can take me off of your friend's list if you want. No big.

I'm Not Sure.

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 02:21:24 GMT

Hi.

I'd just like to say that I have no idea anymore.
About anything. Or anyone.

I don't know what's going on. Or who anyone is. I'm just so creeped out at who I have become.

This probably makes no sense today. But today I was talking to Ryan and I had forgotten how I used to have a crush on him. A big one. I like that I can still talk to him. Most guys that I had a "crush" on I never talk to anymore, mostly because they are complete jerks. Anyway, I consider him one of my good friends. I don't have too many. I even consider Hannah one of my good friends and I remember how much I used to be annoyed of her.

I feel like I've changed. But, I know I haven't. I'm still the same. Eh. Someone told me that I haven't changed since the day they met me, which was back in the seventh grade. They only said that I got "hotter." Hmph.

I think I have gotten smarter. But, in a way, I am a huge idiot. What am I doing?

Oh, completely off the subject, my dad got a raise. Maybe this will make him not so bitchy. He's worse than I am.

Anyway. Some people may see this as me being depressed. No. I am not depressed. Or even the least bit sad. Just completely confused.

People [in general] are such a great mystery to me. I feel like I hardly know any of my good friends. I realized I don't know as much about them as I thought.

I guess I am just venting. Writing makes me feel better. Not sure why. I can't talk to many people anymore. Not many people even know me anymore. I'm too complex of a person.

I'm not even sure why I would be saying all of these things when I will know exactly what's going on, who I am, and who everyone else is.

This all really makes no sense.

Adieu. ♥

And You Can Keep My Friends.

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 23:11:21 GMT

Hello.

I've take it upon myself to not post pictures anymore. Ever.

I'm just so sick of the original bitch calling me "self-obsessed" or things among the lines.

I don't feel like I am "sooo hawt, lyke OMG," and basically what you're saying if you're just an average-looking person then you can't just like to take pictures, but that you are vain. It's so stupid and I don't feel like dealing with the cruelty of people on one subject.

It's annoying and although I know it's not true I don't feel like dealing with other people's jealousy or plain rudeness.

As I said before, people suck.

Well. Today I have realized that I have a bunch of morons in all of my classes. I either have the really smart kids, or the morons.

World History is the worst. My teacher even calls them idiots. There are about 4 people in there with some intellect; By the way, that's out of 38.

I have an appointment to get my haircut next Saturday. I need to get my bangs cut and my layers fixed. For shizzle.

Also, I'd like to make a few comments about my former-friend, Mike.

Hi Mike,
As you noticed I have already written you a note. But I thought it might also be fair if I made this whole not being friends anymore LiveJournal friendly, as you did. And even so, some of the things I may put here could be flattering, or they could be rude. Either way, it's all the truth.
Anyway, we had good times and good talks. You, Emily, Chris, Sra, and my mom are the only people that I have talked to that much.
But, you are also the only friend that I have argued with that many times. How many times was it? Like 30? Whatever the number, it's too many. Don't you feel the same way that this friendship is/was too much work for the both of us?
I know I am no huge loss to you, even though you say you will miss me, or that you do miss me. You only miss the thought of me. You just remember all of those good times that we have had and they make you miss me. I'm not afraid to say that sometimes I will miss you too. It's also safe to say that you were a good friend to me. You just have an awful temper, quick judgement, and emotional instability. I too have emotional instability, so I see no problem there, you just take it farther than I do.
I also feel like you are playing the blame game with this whole thing. You probably think the whole reason for flat out telling you that I don't want to be your friend has to deal with Chris. It doesn't. Or, you may think that it has to deal with the fact that Frank has told me many things that you have said about me. It's just the fact that I hate working to make a friendship work. Shouldn't a friendship be easy? If not easy, than normal. Or at least that's what I thought.
I think that all about sums up what I didn't get to fit into that note.
I also wanted to say, it'd be nice if you didn't look so pissed off all of the time. It makes me feel like I am bringing you down and I don't want that; that would be awful of me and I don't want to stoop that low. I just wanted you to know all of the above.
Well Mike, I hope you have read this and cheered up about the whole thing. Knowing that know you don't have to try so hard to be friends with someone is a good feeling, right? Now you don't have to take time out from your other friends to come over and sit and do nothing with me. Or pay for fast food for me, see, now you can have money. Thanks for that, by the way.
It was good while it lasted. And as good as of a friend you thought I was, I hope that I am easily replaced.
Love,
Tara.

Anyway, that took a lifetime. It's really no hard feeling in the whole thing. I don't want to come off as stuck-up about the whole thing, but I hope it's all understood and over with.

Also, I love Chris.

Oh, shit, I got a 95 on my Spanish test. Applause.

<3

I HAVE A NEW NAME.

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 21:50:41 GMT

Hey.

I was sick of this name. It sucks.

So, my new name is plats_de_mousse. Which basically means foam plates. Hoooooo.

Anyway. I won't be writing in it for about a week or so, but add it. And, if you don't then I can see that you obviously don't read this and there'd be no point in adding you back. I already added some people.

And, I'm not deleting this one.

I think this one will be my back-up journal if I begin to hate the other one.

But, right now I am working on the layout and such.

<3

R. Kelly Is My Hero.

Mon, 09 Feb 2004 23:15:05 GMT

Hey.

Today was decent. Like always. Nothing exciting really.

Oh, I've got a B in Algebra 2. Go me. I had a 24 at the beginning so I am proud of myself.

I found some batteries this afternoon. I thought I would show off my shirt in the making. It's not done. It need to hem it and I was going to put buttons on it.

Word.

Meh.

Look at me go.

My thumb hurts.

Look over there. It's me.

Eh.

My necklace flipped around, so that's what that bump is.

So, my weekend was good.

Friday - I drove up to Crystal River with my mom to see my grandpa. My aunt was there. We went to lunch. Only rednecks and old people live in Crystal River, so you can imagine how the restaurant was. I was the youngest person in there by far.

We left around 3. It took me almost 2 hours to get to Chris's. I wasn't feeling well. I had a good time with him though.

And, I ran into Christine and Veronica at the mall.

Saturday - My mom and I ran some errands. I got a new lamp and a new bookshelp. Both are white. I re-did my room. It looks good, I think.

I also went to the Salvation Army. I got the hottest polka-dot shirt in town. A sweater that has already been cut up, and that shirt that I have on in those pictures. I also got these crazy Gaucho[sp?] pants. They have polka dots on them. It actually looks like a skirt, but they're crazy.

The rest of the night I just did my room.

Sunday - My mom and I went to Ybor. We met Chris there. I didn't feel like shopping really. So, I just got the bed cover and that's all. I'm going back soon though because they have these shoes that I want and I actually think I will shop next time. I felt like shit so that resulted in not wanting to try clothes on and such.

The rest of the day Chris and I just hung out. Of course we did nothing because there isn't anything to do at my house.

And that's my weekend.

Love you.

<3

Driving Away; Leaving It All Behind.

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 01:38:08 GMT

Hey.

So. Not much has been going on.

I think I am getting sick again. Oh, wonderful.

This past week has gone by fast. THANK YOU. A lot of shitty things have happened this week, but shit, I feel good. And you know how when you feel good, you feel look you look good? That's how I've been feeling. Minus today, no make-up and shaggy hair = Crack whore look.

I don't know why I feel like I do, I just do.

The bad things that have happened this week are:
1.) Everyone is getting sick. No lie.
2.) Mae and Copeland is sold out.
3.) I can't drive anywhere, so I am stuck here.
4.) No good music anymore.
5.) Some drama that shouldn't be happening because I thought you were a good person/friend.
6.) I threw away my trash can. Ironic.
7.) I need some shirts. [Fixing that soon.]
8.) Period. I started shaking and breathing hard in Spanish so I took a pass to the bathroom to get fresh air and to move my legs because they had become numb by then.

The good things that have happened this week:
1.) Good weather = skirts.
2.) I actually painted my furniture like I said I was going to.
3.) I'm no longer failing any classes. I either have extremely high C's or A's. Weird. 78, 79, 72 [did work that is raising it to a higher C], 94.
4.) Haha. Some girl told me I should be a model. I'm not sure if that was good or bad or why I was so embarrassed.
5.) I SAW BRAD TODAY. I miss him. Spanish just isn't the same. And I never see him.
6.) Chris [just in general.]
7.) I have my tattoo.
8.) I get to shop soon. Clothes.
9.) The feeling of "I could care less" is just amazing.
10.) Good movie [Lost In Translation.]
11.) I am determined to have all B's.
12.) Donuts TOMORROW.
13.) A three-day weekend. Oh, what a life.
14.) My mom and I decided that soon we are going to go to Debbie's house in Long Boat Key and steal Abby and stay on the beach all day.

Haha. You must check out these horrible pictures. I look stupid, but my shirt is "fresh."

You can't see my shirt, but I look WEIRD.

SO, I have not a clue what I will be doing this weekend. Anyone want to hang out with TARA? Exciting, I know.

Good night. Love you. <3

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 02:27:16 GMT

I'll post more later.

<3

"Hold On," She Said As She Let Go.

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 23:53:54 GMT

Yo.

No pictures today. Sorry to disappoint. I will take some of the tattoo tomorrow. It's still sort of red.

I did get my tattoo. The Rotting Bird by Dali. Also known as The Petrified Bird. Either way, I just got the bird. Looks good. Not sure if most people like it. It is kind of strange-looking. Michael did a good job and only charged me 60. Gave him 80 though.

So, do you want to seeeee? Yes or no?

My aunt wants to take me to the Dali museum in St. Pete. I think that will be the weekend after Valentine's Day.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I hate it. It's my parent's anniversary. I just see no point to it. I guess it's to..

Started reading "The Beautiful and the Damned" the other day.

Mom said that I can go to Ybor Friday. For shizzle. I'm going to get some shirts. Nice.

I guess I will probably end up deleting this entry later. No reason. I just don't like it and it talks about nothing.

Love you.

Happy Birthday Christine.

<3

Kiss Me On The Mouth.

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 02:23:16 GMT

Hey.

Today wasn't much of anything.

I realized that Ms. Pfaffman reminds me of an older Shakira. Because 1.) She's short as hell. 2.) She has that crazy accent. 3.) She has that long hair that's kind of blonde and then brown. It's crazy.

I read Perks of Being a Wallflower yesterday. The whole thing. It was good. Not great, or really good. Just good. Some things were just predictable and I hate that. It gets a B- from me.

I still think Hard Love and Smack are rated with A's. I didn't find Go Ask Alice as amazing as everyone else did. I guess everyone was amazed by the fact that she died and no one knows if it was intentional. Whatever.

Anyway, my mom keeps going back and forth about whether I am getting my tattoo Saturday. I know that I am getting it. Just not for sure if I am on Saturday. I am paying for it, so I don't see why it would matter. All she has to do is sit there for about an hour and a half. To think of it, she wouldn't even have to stay if she didn't want to.

I got a 28 out of 30 on my Spanish oral today. He asked me the one question that I couldn't comprehend and I fucked up. Oh well. Still have an A in there... I have a 103 A. I'm so cool. Me and my spanish.

I took pictures today. I look slutty. And I look bad. The only good part about them is that I am yet again wearing my grandmother's costume jewelry. And my shirt is extremely slutty. I have to wear that shirt to go get my tattoo though, because I'm getting it on my upper back.

That's my favorite necklace that she had. My mom said she wore it all of the time.

I told you these pictures suck.

I think this is the worst one.

My arms look skinny.

Okay.

Sure.

The icon. Or.. one of them.

I guess this weekend will be good. I like good weekends. No, I love them.

Frank, we should start doing quotes from Matt Fox, like you said. Today's: "Shootin' guns."

I'm doing all of mine and Frank's inside jokes.
MR. NIXON!
-Different degrees of homelessness.
-Do do.
-It's like that episode of Seinfeld..
-Do you know why they go to Seattle?
Because that's where the witches live?
Frank: I got a 40.
Me: I got a 70, I did so much better.
-Mr. Nixon giving us tardies because we wanted to go up the steps. And then Frank got detention and I didn't.
-Chris Wilson. Just him in general.
-Silly goose Christian.
-I got new mousse.
-My wife got me a mini-van.
-It's not manly to shave your chest.
The Adventures of Tara and Frank. And miscellaneous. And lunch.
-SKRRRRRRRK.
-Sra.. I mean.. seagulls.
-Evil Sra jumped from the library.
-Broke the tixe sign.
-Biting Frank. And then the girl came up and said "can you do that again, he didn't see it?"
-TIXE!!!!
-Evil Megan stole the last Snoopy.
-The wall.
-The pole.
-Lonely guy.
-HER NAME'S GRANDMA.
-C2.
-You don't eat chips that someone randomly threw into your lap.
-The Furley face. And Frank almost dying after seeing it.
The Huss.
-The hussey dance.
-Frank: I love you.
Jazzy: Are you serious?
-Lifts up the leg.
-Such a sexy huss.
-Me: Jazzy wake up.
Jazzy: ::stares::
Me: ::throws shoe.::
Matt Fox
-They should start a band. Like the Hanson Brothers. I don't know why I said that.
-They're not real people they're dead inside.
-Shootin' guns.
-Matt Fox is spittin' game.
-You're nothing.
-I'll pay you back tomorrow. I'm hungry.
Clone High.
-First and a half base?
Uh-huh.
Under the shirt.. OVER the bra?
Uh huh. Did you bring protection.
::Oven mitts.:: Wooop.
-It's cold. It's cold.
-Ashley Angel from O-Town.
-How did they get my spaghetti video?
-Maybe he's too busy.. EATING BABIES.
-Honest Abe? Last year Abe claimed to be 15, this year he claims to be 16. Which one is it Abe? Get your story straight.
-Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy's. ::Car flips.::
-And turn.
-Who's driving the van?!?!?! ::blinker, turns left.::
-Smoking raisins.
-Oh my god.
-I'm going to go have some bite-sized weiners.
BITE-SIZED WEINERS.
::Cuts mouth.::
-G spot rocks the G spot.
-Try and catch me.. BIIITCH.
-You've got crabs, ASS FACE.
-Bacon for Scudworth.
-Those Pumas are fresh.
-Oh Wesley.

I can't think of anymore. Add some Frank if you can think of any.

Love you.

<3

Wouldn't It Be Better If We Slept Together?

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 03:46:36 GMT

Hey.

I have an idea. EVERYONE POST YOUR FAVORITE PICTURE OF YOURSELF. Please. It's just because I am bored and I want to look at all of you, because you're all so amazing. I guess I'll do mine, hm?
It's really just because that jacket is the coolest ever.

Like the title? Ohhhh yeahhh. It's some 80s song I heard on VH1. It's catchy. It got stuck in my head.

Well. I don't feel like writing. Nothing has been going on.

I have a lot of pictures. Some from today because I got my hair cut. Last night because I was bored and went through my grandmother's costume jewelry and put on pearls. Wednesday because I had my slutty shoulder shirt on. There's a lot of pictures. Some of them are really bad. Oh well. Enjoy, my darlings. Oh, you can see my black bra in the ones from last night. I know, I'm a whore.

Wednesday

I have a thing with taking pictures next to mirrors.

Check out my boney shoulders.

I'm cool.

Look how hot that pink blob is.

My face looks weird.

I have the crackwhore look on. Fo sho.
Last Night.

My lips look weird. Hm.

Gross.

Oh yes. Look at those pearls.
Tonight.

Hoooya.

My icon. I'm cool.

Hmph.

I got new shoes from Urban Outfitters. They're just these slip-on type things. I got a pair of white ones and a pair of black ones. I wanted these Asics, but they were 78. I'm cheap.

My dad ran out of gas right next to Orient Road. Which is where the jail is. One out of seven cops stopped to see if everything was okay within the hour that we sat there.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping to see Chris. Garrett wants me to go to the University Mall with him early. I need to. I need a new belt. It's getting worse. So, Chris, you need to call me tomorrow so I can see what's going on. Love you.

Night. <3

I Hate Spanish. It Hates Me Too.

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 03:10:10 GMT

Tara is ________.
Tara thinks a lot about ________.
When I think of Tara, I think of ________.
I want Tara to ________ me.
If I were alone in a room with Tara, I would ________.
I think Tara should ________.
Tara needs ________.
I want to ________ Tara.
If I could describe Tara in a word: ________.
Tara will never ________ .
Tara can ________ my ________.
I hope Tara never ________.
I ________ Tara because ________.

Fill it out. Please.

Going back to school after 6 days is harsh. Make up work is a bitch.

I have to make-up a test in Biology and Algebra 2. Sucks.

I want to go to Busch Gardens. I doubt my parents will pay for another ticket because I lost the last one. But, does anyone want to go with me? Please.

I also want to get my tattoo. I have to wait until February. Which will be a good month. I hope. Tattoo, Fair, Copeland/Mae, Modest Mouse and there's something else, but I can't think.

To O.C. fans:
I watched The O.C. last Wednesday. I liked it when I first watched it. Now, it's just plain stupid. That one guy is a psycho and the people on there annoy me.

Anywho.

My dad is watching Once Upon A Time In Mexico. He made it a point to tell me that Johnny Depp was in it, which I knew. So hot.

Alright, no more writing.

Chris, I love you.

Friends, I love you as well.

Night. <3

Edit.

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 04:24:51 GMT

I deleted the context that was here.

I was sick of looking at it.

It was a complete anxiety attack and a cruel reminder of how stupid I can be.

I'm fine. I'm good.

I had a bad morning yesterday, but all is fine.

Some things about me need to change. For sure. They will, because I can't even stand them anymore.

There is a lot of me that is really good. I can be funny, I can even be nice. I don't like being rude ever. I know I can be though.

I'm a smartass. That needs to go.

I hate the way I look. The only solution I have for that I guess is to listen to those around me. I mean.. I'm not horrible looking or even ugly. I wouldn't use cute or beautiful or gorgeous ever on myself. Pretty, fine. I guess that I am a good-looking person.

Alright.

I actually want to do another entry. But, this was just to delete what was there. I hated it.

<3

I Have A Headache.

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 02:37:02 GMT

Hey.

I'm not that sick anymore. I just have a really bad headache. I think I am going to go lie down in a second because it's really killing me.

Well, yesterday I did nothing. I was so sick and I could hardly move. The antibiotics helped me as I watched romantic comedies on TNT.

Frank and Shane stopped by.

is what they put together.

</center>Anyway.

Today is Sunday and I didn't see Chris. It's actually the first Sunday I haven't seen him on since I met him. Weird.

So.. my mom was all like "I want to lay around all day and do nothing." I protested because that's what I've been doing since Tueday night.

We went to the mall. I need a new belt because my belt is ripping.

Express was having a sale. I got a , a jean skirt, a red jacket, and a black shirt. Yes.

Then we went to Wal-Mart and I got a black shirt and a white shirt. I'm making them into something better though.

So.. since I had nothing to do when I got home, I went through my clothes. I think I got rid of 4 pairs of pants, 3 skirts, and 8 shirts. That's good.

I organized my clothes but it won't last.

Meh.. this headache is a bitch. Biiiiitch.

I guess Chris and I are going to try and see each other tomorrow. Eh. I really miss him. So, I hope that everything works out.

Alright. Well. I need to go lie down. This headache has taken me.

Maybe I will get more sleep. Ya know.. added onto the dozens of hours that I've gotten already this week.

Good night. <3

This Sucks.

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 17:53:29 GMT

Hey.

So.. I've been sick since Tuesday. It's so much fun.

I actually got to go out yesterday. I felt better.

I got up this morning and had no voice and I started crying. Crying does not help a sore throat. Not at all. And then I started coughing while crying. It was pathetic.

I had to have my mom brush my hair because my arms are weak. Started crying again.

So much for going to the University Mall or stopping to say "Happy Birthday" to Hiram.

I'm stuck at home, like I have been for the past week. Fucking sucks.

I'm guessing that I won't be better by tomorrow which probably means I won't be able to see Chris tomorrow. Which is depressing.

I don't even think that I will be better by Monday. Which is even more depressing.

I had to go to the doctor this morning. I cried the whole way there. I don't have strep throat. I have a throat infection and a sinus infection. The doctor gave me antibiotics, but I have to wait for my dad to get home to take any.

I feel like shit. At least I have some sort of voice now. But, holy shit.. my throat hurts so bad. My neck is like... two times bigger than it should be.

I have a fever of 100.2 which isn't that bad.

I really thought that I was getting better yesterday.. it turns out I'm only getting worse.

I woke up around 3 and my throat was hurting so much, then I felt like I was going to vomit.. I was up until 5:30. Just laying there just hoping that the pains would go away or I could just fall asleep. I finally fell asleep, but I woke up worse.

I guess that's my story about feeling like shit. I just hope that I get better soon. Or now. I'm sick of this.

By the way, I got a Death Cab CD and an Appleseed Cast CD yesterday. Fo sho.

Adieu. <3

There's Nothing To Keep.

Thu, 15 Jan 2004 16:24:36 GMT

Hey.

So, I'm at home.. sick. I've been sick since Tuesday, but I went to school on Tuesday.

Tuesday was really bad. I realized how I'm so sick of people. Just people in general. I'm so annoyed with most people.. most friends.

It's to the point where I'd rather be alone than hang out with anyone. There are a select few that I even want to be around anymore.. I won't even name them because either I'll forget and someone will get pissed.. or you just won't be on there and you're going to be like "Oh.. Tara is pissed at me and I didn't even do anything."

I'm not saying that any of you did anything. It's just the fact that people change, and they become more and more distant. It's to the point where I don't even know most of you anymore. And I'm sure you don't know me.

I love the friends that I have never had these problems with. But, it is pretty sad how there are so few.

I'm guessing that some of you might take this personally. Don't. There's no reason to. I guess what I am trying to say is: It feels like we aren't friends anymore.

So, in general.. people suck.

I'm not saying "Ohh noo.. I am so miserable and I am going to go kill myself. Life sucks." No, my life is fine. It's good. Great even. Sure, I hate school. My dad is an ass. But, I mean.. I have what I need. Air, a home, my boyfriend, my mom, a few of those friends, money (I'm not rich.. but who needs to be?), and I have fast food.

People are just sooo stupid. Stupid and immature. Sooo immature that it kills me.

Anyway. Enough of that bullshit.

Being at home makes me miss Chris even more.

I took some pictures yesterday. A lot. Not going to post them all. Most of you have seen them.

My icon.

</center>Well. This weekend I am planning on going shopping with my mom. I might work on Monday. Maybe.. maybe not. Friday night is going to be a bore. I'll probably just go to sleep early. Or, I'm going to take my mom to go see The Lord Of The Rings.. since she wanted to see it.

Right. Well, I have dial-up now. One of my parents are most likely trying to call. My dad said that he was going to get Broadband last night. He didn't.

Adieu. <3

Autumn Is Not The Same Without You.

Tue, 13 Jan 2004 01:14:09 GMT

Hey.

I attempted to save and post a photo of Jason Vena. Unfortunately.. that wasn't able to work. Just so you know.. he is hot. And he is an extremely talented singer. Ohh yeaaah.

Anyhow.

I feel like shit.

All of the sudden my stomach problems decide to come back. So, I eat and then get sick.

The weekend was good.

Friday.. hmm.. Luke came down on Friday. I had to work on Friday. I made 70 because I had to lie down during the second house. I felt sick. Cramps and such. I can't recall what the hell we did, but it was Emily, Sra, Mike, Luke, and me. I took some pictures at least.

I hate my smile soooo much. I look 5 years old.

It's Sraaaaaaaaaaa.

Luke, Mike, and Sra.

Luke, Me, and Sra.

Emilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I don't think this picture can be any worse. But, at least we're cool.

</center>Saturday was pretty much the same deal. Luke went and skated with a few people. Emily, Sra and I were left to do nothing.

All of us went and saw Big Fish. I thought it was well-done, and well-written. It gets an A from me. I liked it.

After we watched Underworld. Also a good movie. Yes.

Sunday was good. Emily, Sra, Luke, and I went to the Goodwill and found nothing. Came back and Chris was here. All of us watched Almost Famous. Luke left after the movie, so it was just Chris and me.

We went to McDonald's and watched The Lion King because we are fucking cool. I had a good time with him. I love him.

My dad was all pissy about dropping him off though. He's such an ass. He doesn't go anywhere. Why the hell does he care?

Well. Today was just.. okay. It was cold. I hate cold.

I don't want to write anymore.

Also, I am going to sleep early, like.. 10. I feel like shit.

Adieu. <3

She Didn't Take Time.

Fri, 09 Jan 2004 01:54:37 GMT

Hey.

New layout. Hot. It's still Audrey though.

I don't want to write anything. I really don't.

What do I write about that interests anyone?

I might as well just post pictures all of the time. Which is amazing because at the moment I have no new pictures. I had some from Wal-Mart yesterday, but my computer has been acting up which means.. I can't work on the pictures.

I don't feel good. I started my period. I just wanted to announce that to everyone. And I'd also like to point out how much it sucks. See, I thought birth control would help, it only eases the cramps. I didn't expect them to go away, but I expected them not to put me in horrible pain anymore. I was wrong. My back is also killing me. Yea. I got depressed about it. Actually, I really wouldn't say depressed, but, I just get completely "bummed out" over nothing. I actually just want to burst out in tears. No reason. Nothing is wrong. Actually, things can't be better.

I showed my mom the tattoo that I think I am going to get on my upper back. It's called: The Rotting Bird. It's by Dali. I don't want the whole thing, just the bird. I don't think I will be getting Jacqueline Rocque anymore due to the fact that I don't want the two borders, and without them it looks like she has no hair on one side. So, I decided to get this small drawing by Audrey Hepburn on my lower back instead. The bird will be on the right. The drawing will be on the lower left.

Wow. This song just reminds me of really bad times. Modest Mouse-Positive, Negative. Shit. I love this song though. Well, mostly just the part: "I haven't hung out with anyone, and if I did I'd have nothing to say."

I wrote the lamest essay last night. I was out of it.

So, I guess Luke is coming tomorrow. I miss the kid.

What the hell am I still writing in here about?

I want this to stop.

Good night.<3

Yesterday We Had The World Our Way.

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 03:19:57 GMT

Hey.

So, yesterday was pretty good. Mike and I are the coolest kids in town. No doubt.

We went to Sonic. Then the University Mall, got the Acceptance CD, and Jason Vena's voice is stupendous. The live tracks are awesome. I want to see them live so fucking bad. Plus, Jason Vena being hot is a total plus.

Then, we went to Best Buy and I got Mae and My Neighbor Totorro for Garrett. I looked for Breakfast At Tiffany's, but they didn't have it. So, we went to the mall where some lady came out and was like "Son, you ain't got no business. Come on here." It was amazing.

I got Breakfast At Tiffany's though. I am a cool kid.

Coming out of the mall, a hispanic toddler started screaming as the cart she was in went down the hill. Her older, but still YOUNG sister went to get her, but almost tipped the cart over. I laughed my ass off. I am so nice.

Today was school. I didn't really sleep much last night. It sucked. I can't sleep anymore. My mom offered me sleeping pills, but she said they don't help her, so why the fuck would they help me?

Got up.. was wide awake. It was 5:45. Why the fuck was I up 30 minutes early? Fuck.

Seeing everyone just pissed me off. I hate people in general. My friends are the only way I can stay sane at that place.

I saw Megan. Looks the same.

First period was a bunch of bull. Algebra 2. I don't really KNOW anyone in there. There is a pregnant girl that sits next to me. Everyone else in there is completely clueless-looking or ghetto. To top it off there is only about 15 people in there. How enjoyable.

Second period was actually okay. My teacher has the greatest accent, so it makes anything she says amazing. When I first walked in there I saw Hannah and Ryan. They were sitting with all the "Cool Kids" and I sat down. Oh yeah.. I sat with the cool kids. I am sooo cool now. The seats got changed. I sit next to no one I know. Ryan sits.. kinda close.. but not close enough. I bothered him about Rachel and asked if he could carry my books, but he was like "Bitch, I aint your boyfriend."

I was going to sit with him at lunch. But, I saw Mike and he ended up being in my class and lunch. Frank, Hiram, and a few other guys that I'm don't really know are in my lunch too. But, I love Frank and Hiram. So.

Spanish was alright. People in there suck, besides Mike. Mr. Goode is pretty cool.

World History. Okay, you can officially kill me. All of the girls I love to hate are in there. And they are so stupid. And it's so amusing. Kyle is in there. I talked to him for a little. Joe is in there too, he seems like a cool kid. He was in my English class and when I walked in he was like "Taruhhh, what's up giiirl? You're always in my classes." And I was just like "Yeaaa, whaaat's uuup?" And gave him the ghetto look. I'm not really sure what the ghetto look is, but I gave it to him.

That class was so annoying. I was getting so pissed. Most of the people are soooo stupid. My teacher asks: "Why were most of our ancestors buried with their favorite possesions?" Something like that. Some kid says: "Because they liked them." What the fuck?

Some girl also was completely surprised that people used to eat dog. "Aww.. they used to eat Lassie? How terrible!"

I hate people.

Got home. Went to Best Buy with Garrett and Justin. We bought Underworld. Good stuff.

Justin lectured me about cursing and God. It was amazing. Justin is so fun to annoy. He showed me this crazy card he has in his wallet about God. It was like "DEATH IS SIN." or some crazy shit like that.

Watched Uptown Girls with Emily and Sra. It was really good. Dakota Fanning was a little bitch. Brittany Murphy was a fucking dumbass. Her little boyfriend was hot though. Fo sho.

I played dress up the other night for those that don't know. This is my icon too. But, the other pictures are just bad and most of you have seen them if you're in the coolest community ever with me.

And, I need to search for a new Audrey Hepburn picture for the layout.

Well.. my back hurts.

Chris, I love you.

Good night. <3

Imaginary Wedding Dress.

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 05:32:28 GMT

Hey.

Taruuuuh is tired.

And, I am the master at finding these.

Fill it out.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, what am I?

That one kinda sucks. But, do it anyway.

Anywho. I think I wrote in here last on .. the first?

It's now the fourth. I need to do the catching up. Fo sho.

Friday - My mom and I went out shopping. We went to the bank first. I now have 1,228.99 in the bank. I have 74 in my pocket. In scattered ones in my purse. I'm so cool.

I got new bras at Victoria Secret. Like a cool kid. A black one. A white one. The white one is strapless. Unfortunately, althought they're both pretty.. they are both padded. I don't like padded. Oh well. Why am I talked about bras anyway?

I looked for new clothes. No luck.

My mom was getting pissed because people kept looking at me funny. I think it was because of my skirt. It's the hottest skirt in town I mind you.

After that I had to fix up my room because I had gotten a new mattress. My old one was caved in. There is my explanation for my back hurting. It still hurts me. When I sit weird it just throbs. Fucking back.

I don't recall what I did Friday night. I wasn't fucked up or anything. I just don't remember. It was probably wasted online. I'm not really sure.

Saturday - I had to go get my haircut. Which I did. Looks alright. Pictures are posted later. My mom and I wanted pizza. But, Angelina's was closed. So, we went to ABC. Had pizza and salad. Came home. I did some things with my room. Then Mike came over and we went to the Salvation Army. I got the coolest shirt in town. A purple Gullah Gullah Island shirt with Binyah Binyah Pollywog on it. You should all be jealous. It's really small.. but I'm thinking.. stretch the bitch out.

Saturday Night - After the Salvation Army we went to McDonald's. My fries sucked and the ketchup tasted funny. At least Aquaman was on.

Then we went and got Sra. We watched The Crow and then she went home. Mike and I had to go get Coke's. When we came back Hiram was here. I love Hiram.

Then, Emily, Mike, and I went to Checkers. Then ate at Mike's. Watched some videos. Kenny Anderson is hot!

And just because..

Today - I went to his house. And by his I mean Chris. Anyhow. I had a good time. And just being with him is good. I love him. Too bad he lives so far. My dad is getting pissed off about the whole dropping off / picking up thing. Luckily, there is my mom to say, "I think Chris is a nice boy. I like him. And he makes Tara happy. So, stop being an asshole and fuck off." Mother is the coolest. I love her.

Adieu. <3

Happy New Year. I guess. Hm?

Fri, 02 Jan 2004 04:56:47 GMT

Hey.

So, this is the new year. I don't feel any different. And hey, whoa.. I just quoted a song. Kinda.

When I get back to school I hope the seniors don't go overboard with yelling "Oh Fo" all of the time. I remember how annoying it was with the "Oh Three's." Blah.

I hate school and I'm dreading going back.. to new classes. Where once again I will be the weird girl that sits there and doesn't talk. The girl that usually knows all of the answers and that laughs when people get them wrong. Yea. That's me. I ususally have to sit in the back (my last name being Zachry and all.) in the corner. I don't talk to anyone in my academic classes because the majority of my friends are older or just not in my class. I'm not popular and all the kids just think I am weird.

Oh, yea. So.. what did I do for New Years' Eve? I laid in bed with Chris for the majority. The other part we were in Emily's back seat and he drooled on my hair and snored. Apparently everyone snores. Him. Me. Jazzy. Anyhow. I loved being with him for as long as we were together.

I didn't sleep much though. He fell asleep like.. 20 minutes into Aladdin because.. well.. he is lame. He started snoring too. And Jazzy. Eventually I fell asleep. I kept waking up though. And I had to move around a lot because my back hurt so bad.

And, Crystal would not leave me alone. She kept panting and her stomach kept growling. And then.. my fucking stomach started growling. And it hurt the rest of the day. Still hurts.

By the way, tomorrow is Crystal's birthday. The big 11. Yea.. for all of you that don't know. Crystal is a dog.

Well.. I have been in a "thinking" kind of mood lately. I don't really know why. Just.. ya know.. thinking about people, friends, old friends who are not just people I glance at to at least let them know that I am still Tara, family and how bitchy I am towards them, Chris and how lame I am towards him, and then there's my mom.. and how lazy I am when she needs help. Just how fucking lazy I am in general.

But, what the fuck is there to do in Riverview? Especially with no car. I mean.. I have friends with cars, but I hate depending on other people. I really do. I hate asking for favors.

I should just make an "I hate list."

I hate..
-Compliments.
-How "emo" is "LyKe So KewL" now.
-Halo.
-That scary girl from school. She is so creepy.
-School.
-Hats.
-Facial hair.
-When people punch me.
-How I can't take what anyone tells me.. good or bad.
-Flashlights.
-Lemonade.
-What I am thinking right now.
-"HxC."
-Cheerleaders.
-My back.
-My neck.
-My stomach.
-Girl singers.
-How I am so lazy.
-How I make Chris lay around because I am so lazy.
-How my dad says I have an eating disorder.
-When people say that I am beautiful.
-When people call me cute.
-Haggard (The movie.)
-Anal Cunt.
-This.
-The scene.
-Coldplay.
-Norma Jean.
-How I can't look people in the eyes.
-My hair.
-When guys are assholes.
-When guys compete to see who is better.
-When people expect something different from me. I don't really do anything spontaneous.
-How I am boring.
-How the flash on my camera is really bright.
-How my room is too dark.
-Jagged Edge.
-Yet again. What I am thinking right now.
-How I suck.
-That this list is so long.
-How I can't accomplish anything.
-That all of the sudden I am thinking this.
-Blowjobs and when the sluts in my class are like "OhEmGeE!!!11 I am LyKe SoooooooooOoo TotaLLy KeWL. I SuUuuuCked sOme GuY's PENIS. I am LyKe.. SooOO GunNna DO it Uhgaaaain. LoL!!!111@@@3324"
-What the hell I am talking about.
-That it's 2004. And.. I'm doing nothing.
-How you probably stopped reading after I talked about Chris drooling in my hair.
-How you know that sooner or later.. people will stop caring.
-How Chris lives far away.
-That I won't get my license until July.
-How I am so pathetic.
-My period.
-It when you're not here.
-How I sound like the biggest fuck alive.
-How I am too forward with people.
-How my computer has a virus.
I hate this list.

I think all of that was enough for tonight. And enough to make me feel better. I am a dumbass. I suck. I love you. Good night.

<3

Your Smile Shines Through.

Tue, 30 Dec 2003 04:58:12 GMT

Am I--
1. Quiet or Loud?:
2. Short or Tall?:
3. Weird or Original?:
4. Nice or Mean?:
5. Friendly or Selfish?:
6. Normal or "Special"?:
7. Smart or Stupid?:
8. Boring or Fun?:
9. Attractive or Unattractive?:
Do you think I'm--
1. A psycho?:
2. Athletic?:
3. A nerd?:
4. Ghetto?:
5. Two-faced?:
6. Obnoxious?:
7. Immature?:
8. Mature?:
9. Beautiful?:
Just some questions--
1. What do you think I'll be when I grow up?:
2. Do you think I'll get married?:
3. When is my birthday?:
4. Who is my best friend?:
5. What song reminds you of me?:
6. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?:
7. If you could rename me.. what would my name be?:
8. Have you ever had a dream about me?:
10. If you could give me anything... what would it be?:
11. If you could promise me anything... what would it be?:
Personal--
1. Am I physically ugly, average, decent, good looking, pretty, or hot?:
2. Would you ever kiss me?:
3. Would you ever consider being my friend?:
4. Do you ever think about me?:
5. If we spent a day together where would we go and what would we do?:
6. If you could describe me in one word, what would that word be?:
7. Do you or have you ever liked me?:
8. Do you want me?:

Fill that out. Please. Pretty please.

Anyhow.

My back has been killing me. I think I am going to become a hunchback. It hurts. I couldn't go to work with my mom today because of it.

Also, I think I am getting sick. It's off and on. But, it's rather annoying.

So, yesterday Chris came over. Didn't do much. I love him. And apparently, Jazzy does too.

After he left Emily, Jo, and I made a new Barbie video. Emily's Barbie is friends with my Barbie and they are stuck up and always go shopping. Jo's Barbie, Rizzo, is the best.

Today I cleaned up my room. It's coming along. Not finished yet. I've been procrastinating and whining because of my back. I'm a baby. And, I need a picture frame.

Well.. ya know.. I am tired. And, I need sleep. So, I should do that soon.

I don't have to work tomorrow because of my back and my room.

Oh yes. I found that picture that I have been searching for. It has Mitch, George, me, and half of Mike. I love that picture. When I lost it.. it made me sad.

I hung up Shane's painting today. :)

Alright. That's all.

Adieu. <3

Phantoms Now.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 23:30:29 GMT

Hey.

So, I didn't write much about Christmas. It was alright. I got a few things. I got a new camera. My grandpa gave me 500. And I already had 80 from my mom.

Mike came over. We
Mike and I watching.

Garrett playing. or whatever. Sra came over later too. Then we went to Shane's. He painted me this really cool picture. It is was awesome.

Then Sra and I went to her house and watched Virgin Suicides. Then Emily came and we watched Moulin Rouge. I love that movie so.

Then yesterday.. hmm.. what did I do yesterday? Nothing. I sat around. Then my dad and I went and picked up Chris around 8. We didn't do much. Of course. But, at least I got to be with him for a little while. And, he took my jacket. And, I love him. That's all I have to say about that.

I tried to go to sleep early, but that didn't happen. I watched CKY2K with Emily. She missed Bam. And I was reminded of the time Luke saw Bam's penis and showed Emily and Emily went crazy. It was good times.

So, I went shopping today. I spent 160. At Urban Outfitters. I got these 2 awesome skirts. I took some pictures of the shirts I got. And I got my mom a shirt.
Also my icon. The shirt is pimp. It's really soft.

Yes. Yes.

I look weird.. and the shirt is soft too.

What's up with me looking weird?

I told you. I look evil.

This is the white shirt I got for Christmas.

There it is again. And that's me looking weird. I was going to get a new belt.. but.. naw. And, I was going to get new shoes. But, no.

Now, I am doing nothing. Bored. A little tired.

Hungry.

Adieu. <3

PS-I'm so vain. I know. Asshole.

Fill it out. Now.

Fri, 26 Dec 2003 03:03:33 GMT

-Whats your name?

-How tall are you?

Hey.

I took this from the lovely Zofia.

-How old are you?

-Favorite food?

-Favorite color?

-Where do you live?

-Favorite band?

-Suggest a journal for me to read.

-What or who inspires you?

-What makes you really happy?

-What makes you really angry?

-What do you want to be when you grow up?

Hope you had a good Christmas. I got a new digital camera and 500 dollars. Well.. and other things. But.. those are the 2 most important things.

I get to go SHOPPING! Woo.

But, I am at Sra's house and we are watching Moulin Rouge.

Thank you everyone for all of my gifts.

Adieu. <3

Is This Christmas?

Thu, 25 Dec 2003 00:39:24 GMT

Hey.

In addition to what I wrote last night.. I am writing how it doesn't feel like Christmas.

I don't like to recieve presents. I don't like buying them either. The reason I don't like to recieve is the fact that someone had to spend their money on me. I don't like how it stresses my mom out. Or anyone else.

The meaning of Christmas isn't even buying gifts.. but lately.. I've been thinking that's what most believe it to be. Stress and gifts.

I, myself not being Christian.. even know the meaning of Christmas. Why Christmas is Christmas. I'm not an idiot. I'd like to think of myself as more educated than most people my age.

But, why was Christmas made into the season of shopping? I never got that.

Why was "Santa", this imaginary fat, jolly man, invented? Just to trick kids into thinking that all is right with the world? Well.. that's pretty fucked how parents lie to their kids about some guy that comes to your house and gives you present. Sounds like.. the opposite of a robber. Did you ever think that one day.. one Christmas night some fatass fell through someone's chimney.. drunk.. with gifts.. shouted "Merry Christmas" at them. And left. No reindeer. Reindeer were just another pointless lie to tell children. Maybe to get them interested in the season. I really don't have the answer.

Isn't Christmas the time where everyone should be happy? Most of my friends aren't. Some of you even write about how depressing this time of year is for you.

So.. where is the "Christmas spirit?" Will Santa bring it? Fuck that. Is there really a "Christmas spirit" anyway? Or.. is it just the excitement that it's the morning where you can get new stuff?

I don't want anything for Christmas. Sure, I want some new clothes because I hate my clothes. But.. I don't want them for Christmas. I don't want anything. From anyone.

So Garrett comes to me last night, "I think Jo got you something for Christmas." I just turn around, "Are you serious? I can't get her anything, I'm broke." He just looks at me, "That's nice." Well Garrett, I'm sorry, but I am broke.. and way to make someone feel bad about not getting someone something. But.. Jo and I aren't really friends, I don't see why she got me anything. How would she know what to get me anyway? We don't talk. Really.

To you, it may seem like I am a big idiot. But.. if you are one to think that.. really think about it. What is Christmas to you?

So.. all of the above.. really has nothing to do with my point. Right?

My point is: It doesn't feel like Christmas.

Why? Just because it doesn't. Most people I have talked to agree. I want this season to be over. I guess I am just growing up. Growing out of materials. Comercialism.

I don't really flow with the crowd. I might even seem weird to most. But.. is what I have to making any sense? Does anyone else agree?

I can't wait for Christmas to be over with.

It will be such a relief to everyone.

For tomorrow all of my mom's family is coming. Most of them just see me as the quiet teenager. Sure, they love me. They have to. But, I'd rather spend Christmas with my friends. With Chris. I know I can't see Chris anyway, but I can see my friends. And I plan on seeing them. Being with the people that you love is the best, no? I guess that is what Christmas is about.. besides the whole Christ being born stuff.

So.. maybe if I am with the people I love then it will feel more like Christmas?

Completely off the subject, I miss Chris. And I love Chris.

But, next is the new year. I love New Year's. It's just a good excuse to get completely trashed. And to have a good time. And that's what I plan on doing.

Geez, I know how pointless this entry was. I'm sure most of you didn't even read it. But, I had to write it. Ya know?

Anyhow. Merry Christmas. Right?

Adieu. <3

It Only Lasts A While.

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 05:33:15 GMT

Hey.

I don't really remember the last time I updated. Thursday?

Well.. I can't remember past Saturday.

Saturday - My mom and I went to Ybor to go shopping. It was nice weather and no one was really there. I got two shirts in Urban Outfitters. A black one. And a white one. Both cute. Not me. But.. I can wear what I please. Unfortunately.. I'm not cute.. so.. the shirts will make up for that.

Saturday Night - Emily came over. Emily is my lover.. so I think you know what I did.

Well, really. We went to Burger King. When I got back someone was reading my journal. I think it was Mike. Whatever. I don't see why my family would be interested in anything I had to say.

Went to the mall and Wal-Mart. I got my shirt so Emily and I can make our "letter" shirts. They will be hot.

Sunday - Did nothing for the morning. Later on my dad and I went to pick up Chris. He was mad at me on the way. I really couldn't tell you why.

I had a good day with Chris though. Laying around is what I do best. We watched How High. And.. I love him. I don't know what else to write about Sunday.

Monday - I had to work. Made 50. Spent it when I went out with Mike and Sra.

We first got Wendy's. Then we went to Best Buy. I got Shane's, Emily's, and Mike's presents.

Then to the mall. I got sick from the Wendy's and had to run to Burdines' bathroom to vomit. Lovely.

Went back and bought my pants.

Monday Night - My dad kicked the chair. He got mad. By the way, I was in the chair.

Today - I sat around for a while. Frank and Gene came in the beginning of me.. wrapping presents. I'm no good at that.

Sra came later.

We watched CKY2K. Fun.

Hiram came. Then we went to Hiram's.

Sra and I wanted to go see Mona Lisa Smile. But.. no ride. I can't wait for my lisence.

We ended up renting Alex and Emma. We watched it. She went home. Now I am here.

Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Holy shit. It doesn't feel like it. I don't have the spirit at all. It kind of.. sucks.

My mom wants me to go to church. I don't know why. I told her no. Plus, she said it was at my school. Why would I want to go there?

Okay.. writing in this.. is taking it out of me.

But. Check out my layout. Audrey Hepburn.

Adieu. <3